What is shame?
Shame has been defined as a chronic and persistent evaluation of a person’s view of themselves. It is all-pervasive and comes with a sense of being flawed and defective as a human being. It seeps into our identity and lies to us that we are unlovable, tainted, powerless, defective, and worthless.
Shame is universal. It sucks.
People who carry shame accept responsibility for actions against them by others and feel like they deserve bad things to happen to them.
Shame is often confused with guilt, but they are very different. Guilt is something that you carry when you have done something wrong. Shame is that YOU are wrong.
What causes shame?
Childhood sexual abuse (sexual abuse of ANY KIND)
Making Mistakes (big and small)
Impossibly High Standards
Upbringing Low self-esteem
Trauma (OF ANY KIND)
Everyone has experienced shame in one way or another throughout their lifetime. Carrying and internalizing shame leads to challenges in relationships, intimacy, depression, and anxiety, to name a few.
When we experience shame, we often try to gain power or control over others by being aggressive, isolate ourselves, keep secrets, or seek approval from unhealthy people.
Shame is a four-letter word and often at the root of poor mental health.
Shame cannot survive if you speak about it. I want to help you learn how to “speak shame” so that you can kick it to the curb once and for all.
Shame Resilience therapy in Dallas.
Resilience is a combination of learning how to bounce back from traumatic experiences and a natural ability to self-right. In other words, you have to learn to identify shame and emotionally vaccinate yourself from it so that it doesn’t take residence within you.
To be resilient, you have to be okay with being vulnerable. It sounds crazy that you have to lay it all out there to fight against shame, but when you can speak about your emotions to someone who receives it with empathy and kindness, shame hightails it out of your life.
It is possible to get rid of the false belief that you are unworthy and flawed and deserve bad things to happen to you. Beating shame allows you to form relationships that are rooted in empathy and support that leads to higher self-esteem and protects you against the false belief that you are inherently wrong.